Digest 10. Stop talkin’ in circle, start a listening circle!
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Do you listen to understand, or do you listen to reply?
Managers spend more than 60% of their time listening, according to empirical evidence. A manager’s listening ability has implications for the effectiveness of the work team and the organization, but also for its own success. On the one hand, high-quality listening, intended as attentive, benevolent and non-judgmental, increases psychological safety and reduces social anxiety in others. As a result, employees report higher job and relational satisfaction, more positive mood, and lower burnout. On the other hand, good listeners tend to learn much more from others, gaining new perspectives and knowledge, which is usually a good indicator of increased performance (chapter Listening as Positive Communication by Bodie, 2012).
Therefore, high-quality listening brings advantages for both the speakers and the listeners. Organizations should be aware that it is a key factor to foster meaningful connections at work that can be mutually enhancing and promote informal self-development.
The listening circle
Considering these advantages, an article by Itzchakov & Kluger (2017) explored the development of listening skills in employees at a large public organization through a training program based on a listening circle. Employees who took part in the training experienced being better listened to, lower levels of social anxiety, and more balanced attitudes, when compared to employees who did not participate in the initiative.
So, how does the listening circle work? It is a structured process that creates safe conditions for people to better understand one another, facilitate conflict resolution and effective decision making.
Listening circles involve about 10—25 people sitting in a circle (indeed!) with one or two trained instructors. Participants are invited to speak about a topic that can be specific (e.g., thoughts about a certain situation at work) or general (e.g., the most challenging experience this year). The rules below should be followed:
One person talks at a time: Usually, a ‘talking object’, handed over between the people in the circle, is used to mark the talking turns;
Listen and talk from the heart: People are encouraged to consider four ‘intentions’ when participating: “to listen from the heart, to talk from the heart, to talk succinctly, and to talk with spontaneity.” (Itzchakov & Kluger, 2017, p. 3). To create a psychologically safe atmosphere, employees should feel comfortable to express themselves freely and honestly, and be assured that they will not be criticized or interrupted;
Non-judgmental: Participants are asked to share their views by approaching the issue directly and avoiding positive or negative feedback about what anyone has said.
Speaking is not mandatory: there should be no coercion to speak or any judgmental reactions to the phrase, “I pass.” It should be instructed that listening without speaking is also participation.
Additional tips for listeners – How can managers know they are really listening to their employees?
Start trying and actively reflect on your conversations: developing our listening skills can be a tough challenge. However, the simple act of deciding to start trying, by avoiding interruptions or jumping to rapid conclusions, can lead to a significant improvement. Reflect after every attempt and don’t underestimate the potential of learning with the process by trial and error;
Avoid distractions: avoid looking at screens and give your 100% attention. If you find this hard, a good technique to learn is mindfulness which may help reduce the “internal chatter” that is inhibiting you from listening fully;
Look for non-verbal cues: look for what the body is saying and try to understand the deep meaning of what is being said. The other person may want to share that he/she feels worried even if it is not being said explicitly;
Ask good questions: a good question shouldn’t communicate judgment or straight reassurance. It should direct the person towards sharing more information on what he/she intends to say. These questions reinforce that you are paying attention and that you have the intention to really understand;
Control the tendency to judge and evaluate: be careful with the tendency to share disagreement before fully listening to the communicated idea. To install a culture of communication and voice behavior it is important to be open and avoid criticizing – on the contrary, sharing comprehension even when opinions diverge;
Empathize with the speaker: to empathize, you should imagine yourself in the shoes of the employee and try to understand their situation/feelings. Be mindful that you don’t need to compare how you would react in the same situation. Everyone is different and compassion only requires being sensitive and considerate of their feelings.
Infographic created by REAL PAL - Ways to become a good listener
Organizational implications
According to Itzchakov & Kluger (2017), the listening circle can help in the domain of conflicts in the workplace by:
Fostering the exchange of information and the comprehension of each other’s opinions, needs and interests, which allows for the construction of creative solutions;
Promoting attitudes that are more balanced, decreasing the impact of a defensive and competitive environment;
Improving future collaboration and strengthening relationships.
However, for the success of the listening circle, there are two important considerations:
if the circle comprises managers and their employees, the feeling of equality might be difficult to achieve. It is therefore important to avoid having a manager as instructor and to get an outside instructor or a trained HR person to lead the circle;
it is imperative to develop an action plan based on the outcomes of the exercise. Participants must get feedback on how the conclusions are being implemented and their anticipated impact. Otherwise this exercise will rapidly stop working as the motivation to participate will be lost.
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Reference: Itzchakov, G., & Kluger, A. N. (2017). The Listening Circle: A Simple Tool to Enhance Listening and Reduce Extremism Among Employees. Organizational Dynamics, 46(4), 220–226. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2017.05.005